So we are a week away from Christmas and I wonder if you are getting ready to catastophise or weatherproof? Let me explain what these both are:
Catastrophising is when you assume the worst possible outcome in a situation, often blowing problems out of proportion. It involves imagining and expecting disastrous results from events, even when the likelihood of such outcomes is minimal. People who catastrophise may interpret everyday challenges as insurmountable crises, causing significant anxiety, stress, and emotional distress. A little example of my experience that might resonate…when my children started driving, if they were 5 minutes late home, I would never think, ‘oh, they’ve just got caught up in traffic,’ I would always jump to the worst-case scenario and in my head they were sitting a ditch somewhere all alone…or worse!
And as if that’s not enough to deal with, we also have Emotional Weatherproofing which happens before catastrophising.
You know when, before winter, you weatherproof your house and perhaps your car? You pre-empt potential, possible problems that might pop up in the coming months: Leaks, drafts and loose roof tiles. Now remember these are potential, possible problems, not guaranteed issues. Emotional weatherproofing is the act of imagining the future, and worrying that you are going to catastrophise.
Let me explain.
If each time the phone rings, you presume it’s going to be bad news, that is catastrophising.
If the phone isn’t even ringing, but you are preparing yourself for when it does…that is emotional weatherproofing!
Got it?
Now, Christmas is often portrayed as a season of unfiltered joy, festive gatherings, and warm family moments. Yet, for many, the holiday season can be a complex emotional landscape. If you are grappling with trauma, struggling with ill health, or facing personal challenges, the pressure to feel merry can be overwhelming. And yes, you are likely to weatherproof and catastrophise about how you might struggle to feel the joy, before the day has even arrived.
So, maybe this might help you relax into Christmas a bit…
Understand that it is possible to experience both joy and sorrow simultaneously. It is not only possible but entirely valid.
Life rarely fits neatly into categories of happiness or sadness. Psychological research shows that humans are capable of holding contrasting emotions at the same time. You can feel excited about holiday traditions while mourning a personal loss. You can appreciate festive lights while feeling weighed down by chronic illness or past trauma. Accepting this emotional complexity can alleviate the pressure to force happiness or suppress genuine feelings.
And as for catastrophising and weatherproofing - recognise when you are doing it. Wear an elastic band around your wrist (No, I’m not crazy - do it…please) and each time you feel yourself start to enter the parallel universe of fiction, ping the elastic band and think of something positive. This is how you can retrain your brain to stop going down the rabbit warren of catastrophising and weatherproofing, neither of which are helpful or healthy.
I know it's difficult, especially when you have got used to feeling unwell and receiving bad news, but I want you to enjoy this magical time, because you are here and it is your Christmas!
SB x
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