The Freedom of Being Yourself

Before I begin this week's newsletter, I wanted to say a heartfelt thank you for your patience over the past few weeks. Settling into life here in Nice, France, has been exciting, inspiring, a little chaotic and, at times, overwhelming. Between navigating a new city, finding our rhythm and creating a new sense of home, the newsletters have inevitably taken a back seat. I know many of you look forward to receiving them, so thank you for your understanding and kindness while I've been finding my feet. Your support means more than you know and I'm looking forward to getting back into a regular rhythm and sharing this next chapter with you all.

So, this week's coaching session was all about something many of us struggle with, often without even realising it:

Caring far too much about what other people think of us.

For years, many of us have become experts at being who other people need us to be.

• The reliable one.

• The strong one.

• The sensible one.

• The peacemaker.

• The helper.

• The one who keeps everyone comfortable.

And while there is nothing wrong with kindness, compassion or consideration, there comes a point when constantly adapting ourselves to suit everyone else becomes exhausting.

At some stage, we have to ask ourselves:

Who am I underneath all the expectations?

For many people, recovery isn't simply about feeling better physically or emotionally. It is about becoming more honest.

Honest about what matters.

Honest about what we enjoy.

Honest about what we no longer want.

Honest about the parts of ourselves we have hidden away because they felt too different, too much, too unconventional or simply not acceptable.

Perhaps recovery isn't about fixing ourselves.

Perhaps it is about remembering ourselves.

The Cost of Seeking Approval

Seeking approval is tiring.

It means constantly editing ourselves.

Questioning ourselves.

Worrying that we were too loud.

Too emotional.

Too quiet.

Too ambitious.

Too sensitive.

Too colourful.

Too different.

Yet no matter what we do, somebody somewhere will have an opinion.

And the truth is, they are allowed to.

People judge what they don't understand.

People criticise what they secretly wish they had the courage to do.

People sometimes feel uncomfortable when others change because it forces them to examine their own lives.

But someone else's opinion does not have to become our reality.

Not every opinion deserves a seat at our table.

Not every comment deserves space in our minds.

Being Different Is Not a Problem to Solve

Somewhere along the way, many of us learned that fitting in felt safer.

But fitting in can come at a cost.

We stop wearing what we love.

We stop expressing opinions.

We stop trying new things.

We stop creating.

We stop dreaming.

We stop allowing ourselves to evolve.

Yet individuality is not a flaw.

It is often where our joy lives.

Perhaps being yourself means wearing bright colours.

Starting a new business at fifty-four.

Moving country.

Painting, even if no one sees it.

Laughing loudly.

Changing your mind.

Beginning again.

Being passionate.

Being absurd.

Being playful.

Being deeply thoughtful.

Being all of those things at once.

Normality is sometimes just collective fear dressed up as good behaviour.

And perhaps the world doesn't need more people trying to fit in.

Perhaps it needs more people brave enough to be themselves.

Tiny Acts of Rebellion

This week, I encouraged everyone to choose one tiny rebellion.

Not a dramatic life change.

Just one small act that says:

"This is me."

It might be:

• Wearing something you love

• Resting without guilt

• Saying no kindly

• Posting the picture

• Making the art

• Speaking up

• Taking up space

• Doing something simply because it delights you

Because recovery isn't about becoming a better version of someone else.

Recovery is about becoming more fully yourself.

And perhaps the greatest gift we can give ourselves is permission to stop auditioning for approval and start living authentically.

As we said in our session:

We don't care about the rules. We just want you to feel better.

And sometimes feeling better begins with deciding that being yourself is enough.

More than enough.

It is exactly who you were meant to be.

As always, take what resonates and leave the rest. There is no prize for fitting in, shrinking yourself, or spending your precious energy trying to be everything to everyone. The people who truly matter will appreciate your quirks, your humour, your honesty and your individuality. So this week, give yourself permission to be a little more you. Wear the bright colours, share the opinion, take the rest, make the art, laugh loudly and stop apologising for taking up space. The world doesn't need another version of someone else. It needs the wonderfully imperfect, beautifully individual person that only you can be.

What a great week! Enjoy your weekend!

SB xxx