When You’re Doing the Work… But Still Feel a bit Wobbly!

This week inside The Recovery Club, we spent our live coaching session talking about something so many people quietly struggle with:

Those days when you are doing the work… and you still feel off, you know, a little bit wobbly!

We began by naming something that often goes unsaid, that you don’t need to feel calm, focused or regulated to belong in this space. You don’t need to take notes, fix yourself, or be “better” at recovery. The session was intentionally created for the wobble days and if that resonated, it didn’t mean anything had gone wrong.

Healing Isn’t Linear — And That Matters

One of the biggest themes we explored was the fear that arises when symptoms return after a period of feeling steadier.

So many people shared some version of this thought:

“I was doing okay… and now I feel off again.”

And almost instantly, the mind turns that into a story: I’m failing. I’m back at the beginning. Nothing’s working.

We talked about how deeply human that response is and how inaccurate it often is.

Most of us expect healing to look like a straight, upward line. Each week a little better. Fewer symptoms. More confidence. But nervous system healing doesn’t work like that. It moves in loops and spirals, not lines.

The same sensations come back. The same fears revisit. But each time, the nervous system is meeting them with a little more capacity, even if it doesn’t feel that way in the moment.

Feeling wobbly doesn’t mean progress has been undone. Often, it means the nervous system is tired, integrating or responding to something subtle that didn’t consciously register. That isn’t failure. It’s being human.

Why Repetition Matters More Than Breakthroughs

We then explored something that can feel frustrating, especially for people who are doing everything “right”:

Your nervous system doesn’t learn through breakthroughs. It learns through repetition.

One calm day doesn’t rewire safety. One good session doesn’t convince the body that everything is okay. What actually teaches safety is showing up the same way again and again. Responding with familiarity. Choosing the boring, predictable option.

Because of that, progress often feels underwhelming.

It looks like recovering a little faster. Panicking slightly less. Pausing before spiralling. Speaking to yourself with a bit more kindness.

And even when the mind dismisses those changes, they count.

When “Nothing’s Working” Shows Up

We spent a good chunk of time with what is often the hardest moment in recovery; the moment the thought appears:

“Nothing’s working.”

That thought brings urgency, and urgency tells the nervous system there’s danger. So instead of fixing, forcing, or searching for certainty, we talked about the importance of naming what’s happening.

Replacing “I’m back at square one” with:

“I’m having a wobble.”

That simple language shift reduces threat.

When a wobble hits, the instinct is often to do more; more tools, more checking, more thinking. But what the nervous system usually needs first is safety.

We practised small cues of safety: unclenching the jaw, dropping the shoulders, slowing the exhale. Not to feel calm, just to feel a little less alarmed.

The goal was never to make the feeling disappear, but to show the body: This can be here, and I’m still safe.

Forcing Calm vs Allowing Regulation

Another important distinction we explored was the difference between forcing calm and allowing regulation.

Forcing calm often sounds like: This needs to stop. Why am I not better yet? I’m doing everything right.

Even gentle tools can become pressure when they’re driven by urgency.

Allowing regulation sounds different: This is uncomfortable, not dangerous. I don’t need to rush this. My body can take its time.

We reflected on where we might be unknowingly pushing for calm, instead of allowing the nervous system to settle in its own timing.

Rebuilding Trust, Gently

Towards the end of the session, we brought everything together in a simple, grounding way.

We invited members to identify:

• One sign that tells them a wobble is starting

• One phrase they could offer themselves instead of criticism

• One small regulating action they could repeat this week

This is how trust is rebuilt, not through perfection, but through consistency.

A Closing Reminder

We ended with a reminder worth repeating:

Feeling off does not cancel your progress. Wobble days are not a problem to solve, they are a moment to respond differently.

And if this week all you do is pause instead of panic, that is healing.

Nothing has gone wrong. You are allowed to go slowly. Your nervous system is learning.

YOU are doing FINE!

SB xx